Entry title: march 26
Date / Time : Sunday, March 26, 2006 / 7:57 PM
Dear lola...
hello lola, this is carla. I know you can hear me, and i dont have to put my thoughts in writing, but i need to do this to feel better. I hope you understand.
Do you remember when i was about 5 or 6, and i would go around your village and pick you a flower? then you would put it in your vase? that day seems so far away now.
Then when we lost lolo, i remember how bad we all felt, especially you. I remember the last day of funerals and they were to cremate him already. You were crying, we all were. After that you got sick. It was nothing at first, we knew you would be alright.
7 years without lolo. in 7 years you developed alzheimers and parkinsons. It was not easy to see you like that. I felt so helpless because i knew there was nothing i could do to make you feel better. You became forgetful sometimes but you could still talk to us, and i was content with that, i thought we could still talk, even till the end.
Then something happened. they took you to the hospital and when you came back, you could hardly talk anymore. One of the last words i heard you say was angeles. But one day you stopped talking altogether.
For 1 year, you suffered the pains of parkinsons, alzheimers and several strokes. I would come and visit you with papa, mama and alana. It was so hard to see you like that, we couldnt talk to you, you couldnt look at us. But i think you could still hear us.
Last last night, we were eating dinner, it was me mama and alana. papa was at your house. Then mama got a call from papa. I didnt hear what he said, but mama and alana went to your house. Before they left, i asked what was happening. and she said that you were gone. I was shocked. It was finally over. Me and alana stopped and prayed for you, then they left. I was alone here at home, they didnt want me to see. I was here, crying, and crying, until there were no more tears to cry. I was sad, but yet i was also happy for you, because i know youre in a better place now. no more pain.
Im thankful for my friends, who besides my family, were there to comfort me when i was here alone that night. THey made me feel better.
Last night was your wake. Everyone was there for you. And you had so many flowers, im sure you loved them. The priest asked us to gather around your urn, to say goodbye. Beside your urn was your wedding picture, you looked so beautiful. We all took a turn to sprinkle holy water on your urn . We were all crying.
Lola, i know you dont want us to be sad, because youre happy now, youre with God and with lolo. And im happy for you too. but im still going to miss you, we love you.
